How do you “practice the pause”?

  • How do you “practice the pause”?

    Posted by Cari Rogers on September 10, 2021 at 2:29 pm

    How does meditation support your ability to pause and have awareness to your reactions? What sort of mindfulness practices do you use after moments of being judgy, making assumptions or accusations? Being human means we all do it, whether in thought or in action, so let this be an enlightening discussion that supports kindness, forgiveness and reconciliation with ourselves!

    Cari Rogers replied 9 months, 2 weeks ago 3 Members · 4 Replies
  • 4 Replies
  • Thiera Smith

    September 13, 2021 at 11:11 am

    My practice is trying to remember that feelings are just messengers. What I know about myself is that if I’m being judgy or making assumptions, I’m probably subconsciously comparing myself to that other person, so my practice is trying to get curious about what triggered that comparison. For me, a lot of the time, it can be a feeling of “I’m not enough,” in which case I know the antidote is remembering my goal of bringing my true self to the table in as many situations as possible….and usually if I’m busy being me I’m too busy to compare. Another big trigger for me is avoiding seeing the similarities between me and that other person. Owning something about myself that I don’t want to see can feel painful, being compassionate towards someone in pain can be painful. Sometimes it feels so much easier to just be judgy so I can pretend that it isn’t also me. One antidote to that is doing my Shadow Work. With self-compassion, self-kindness, and gentleness I will own that I can get pretty far down the judgy road before my practice kicks in….this question is making me consider if regular meditation would help me step into that practice a little sooner? I’m intrigued and will stay tuned.

    • Cari Rogers

      September 13, 2021 at 1:50 pm

      @thiera_lac I love all that you said about “avoiding seeing the similarities between me and that other person” and how that illusion of separation creates suffering. I agree that shadow work is an antidote for practicing & habituating acceptance.

      Meditation may offer an in-kind antidote in that when we become more aware of our thoughts/ feelings and pause to ponder them, we form a new habit, which is a conscious response, that replaces blunt reactivity. Over time, this shows up as being more centered and peaceful in elevated situations, remaining more calm physically, and expanding our capacity for compassion without taking on another’s suffering.

      Thanks for contributing!

  • Cari Rogers

    September 22, 2021 at 12:48 pm

    Hi, MJ! Thanks so much for your insights. Yes, I concur that this past year+ has been the GREAT PAUSE, as I have noticed a huge shift in priorities, in simplifying, in re-evaluating… we can definitely discuss this in a zoom chat anytime!

    In the meantime, please join me for a mindfulness break at 1:30p CST today if you’re free (or catch up with the practice in TribeTv if you can’t make the live call). Sometimes just sitting in the practice can illuminate this concept of “the pause” and lead to a deeper discussion after.

    See you soon!